Hair Salons

Stylist who nags customer to donate hair deserves brushoff

Published: Sunday, 01 April 2007 15:03:57
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Dear Miss Manners: There is a charity that accepts donated hair and makes it into wigs for children with cancer.

I have waist-length hair, and people ask me whether I would like to cut it off and send it to this charity.

My stylist has asked me every time I go in. I am considering changing stylists, although other women with long hair have told me they have had the same experience elsewhere.

I prefer to handle my charitable giving privately and in a currency other than my own hair. Whenever I get this request, my response is equivalent to saying that I don?t care about dying children. It is awkward and becomes more so when people repeat the request every time we meet, or try to talk me into it, or add sad stories about children with cancer. (I notice that none of the requesters seems to be shipping off her computer, her television or her car to a child who would appreciate it.)

Is there any graceful way to respond that will put a stop to this? If not, is there any graceful way to tell my stylist that he is losing my business and to ask a potential new one if I can expect different treatment?

Gentle Reader: Have you considered asking your stylist for a kidney?

Well, no, that would not meet your requirement of being graceful. And Miss Manners supposes it would not be effective, either, as he is likely to miss the point about the audaciousness of his request under such circumstances and argue that hair can be grown back.

So you must tell him outright: "I?m sorry, but I can?t trust my hair to someone who keeps wanting to cut it off." By no means should you feel embarrassed to choose charities, as thoughtful philanthropists do, and to keep your choices private.

Unless he apologizes and retreats, you will have to find another stylist. You can begin with that one by explaining why you left your current one.

Dear Miss Manners: I am a junior in high school, and while trying to open a new bottle of ketchup, I used my teeth to remove the tab covering the opening.

My father went berserk and called me "barbaric."

I can see how one might perceive my actions as impolite; however, I could see no other option. I had tried to open the bottle with my fingers, but to no avail. Using a knife to pry off or pierce the tab also proved ineffective.

My father and I were not entertaining company, and I committed the offensive act before entering the dining room, in the kitchen.

Were my actions permissible? I feel that decorum should not override convenience when one is left with no other recourse. (My father was busy and could not open the bottle.)

My other question involves eating food with one?s hands. I think that with some foods, this is both appropriate and necessary. My father sometimes complains when I do so. With the prevalence of finger food in American culture, is my behavior acceptable?

Gentle Reader: If you know which are always finger foods even under the most formal circumstances (canapes and grapes, for example), and also when some foods (such as chicken and fruit) are and when they are not, then yes.

This is a matter of custom, not applied engineering. If you are simply popping things into your mouth by hand when you find it convenient, then, no, your behavior is not acceptable.

Your inclination to argue with your father makes Miss Manners leery of telling you that etiquette, being a social discipline, doesn?t care what you do when you are unobserved. But that not only means avoiding company; it also means not being caught by your father.

So, technically, you should be able to open ketchup bottles with your teeth when your father isn?t looking. But since he is the one who pays your dental bills, Miss Manners understands his concern.

Write to Miss Manners in care of The Columbus Dispatch, United Feature Syndicate, Fourth Floor, 200 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016.

Source: The Columbus Dispatch